Congruity

When I met Daniel, my world was falling apart, literally it was the worst chapter of my life. Saturn had revisited Scorpio for the summer and brutalized me by stealing you, loved grandmother (both of of you anyway). But I lost the person I loved most in this world. I never knew my heart could ache so much when you died. And even though it is cliche to say that your death left a void in my heart, I believe more appropriately that a piece of me died along with you. But please keep it. It actually brings me comfort knowing there is so much beauty in letting go. 

Days after Daniel and I met,  I returned to Trinidad for the second funeral that month to say goodbye to you my love; the one person I would have wanted to meet him most. The universe has its way of ironically filling voids and surprising us with the least expected circumstance... by this I mean how could I know with such loss and grief,  I would dive into the deepest parts o my heart and give it to my bashert. 

Finding myself in Trinidad again did nothing to soothe my grief so I took the next flight home right after the funeral and literally ran to his open arms and open heart. I could not bear the long drawn out traditions that amplified my grief. I couldn't look at my mother or aunts without seeing your face, and I just had to leave. My journey to accepting my your passing and surviving this tremendous grief is inextricably aligned with our love story. 

There were so many times in the beginning of all this where guilt and doubt crept in to make question whether it was the right time to let him to enter my life. Whenever he said or did something amazing, I knew that you would have given anything to be around to see this happen for me. But a part of me felt that I was metaphorically dancing on you grave, by the elation of our growing love. How could I be falling in love at this precise time? Why now? It was literally the worst cosmic timing. Then I learned that the answer to that its never the right time. You just have to accept the gifts of the universe, along with its cosmic lessons and be grateful for both. I kept moving forward with this man and I soon came to realize that not only did I want to be with him, but I NEVER want to be without him.